I need my hearing.

Today a lecturer asked, "What's the sense you don't wanna lose the most?" and said that most people would say sight. I'd say hearing, though. I know that losing sight would probably pose the greatest hindrance to my daily life, but other than that, I'm not someone who places a lot of importance on appearances. But I can't imagine living not being able to listen to music. I'd be miserable, really.

Today, I...

1. Had insomnia and fell asleep at around 5am
2. Woke up at 11am and took Clarinase
3. Put dirty clothes in the washing machine
4. Cooked instant noodles (kimchi-flavoured! with egg!), ate while watching drama and washed the dishes while the washing machine works
5. Hung the clothes to dry
6. Cleaned and organised my huge dumpster of a table in the living room (I am a master at throwing away stuff!)
7. Swept the floor with Adam Lambert blasting in the background
8. Finished at 3pm.

I AM SO TIRED.

[pinned] Facts about myself. (27/01/2013)

Here are some things about me that you may or may not know about.

1. I don't like animals.

I may think that a puppy is adorable, but I'd still keep a distance from it and not want to touch it. I used to say that it's because I think animals are dirty, but then again, it's not really the reason. I guess I'm rather fearful of them?

2. I hate cigarettes.

I hate, loathe cigarettes with a passion. I think smoking is the most selfish addiction ever because in the process of killing themselves slowly, smokers are also killing other people with their second-hand smoke that is more harmful that first-hand one. I get pissed off whenever I smell cigarette smoke, and usually I make my disdain pretty obvious, on purpose. I have nothing against the smokers themselves, as long as they don't smoke within like 10 meter radius of me. I told my dad that I'd stop calling him Dad if he starts smoking, and I was not kidding.

3. I have a very bad memory.

I can't remember things well, so don't be surprised if, say, I say that I can't remember what I had for lunch the day before. (Now that I think about it, I really can't remember what I had o_o.)

4. I love fruits.

I don't think there's any fruit that I dislike. I love fruits!

5. I don't have just one favourite.

I like things, I dislike things. But I don't have favourites. Ask me what my favourite song is and I would never be able to give you an answer, even after you narrow it down to one particular artist. What's wrong with just having a top 3/5/10 for everything?

6. I really don't like to be sick.

When I was young, I really wanted to be a doctor. It wasn't really because of any noble reason like I want to help people, but simply because I dislike being sick. Usually I pride myself on being strong, but when I'm sick, I tend to whine a whole lot.

7. I love music.

I think listening to music is a big part of my daily life. I love music. You can always find the perfect music to go with any weather, mood, and what have you. You can like a song without liking or knowing the language it's sung in, or even its genre. It's rather amazing that I can remember so many songs' lyrics, given my terrible memory.

8. I don't regret.

I tend to do things that I want to, regardless of what others think. Conversely, I don't do things that others may expect me to, if I don't want to do them. Since my actions are a result of my personality and the situation, even if I were to be given a chance to do it over, given the same circumstances, I'd have done the same thing I did at any particular time. Therefore, there's no reason to regret. From time to time I may groan at some stupid thing that I did in the past, but I don't regret that I did it. I take a mental note of my mistakes and tell myself to not do the same things in the future, and that's it.

9. I love singing.
I may not sing well, I don't have a nice or unique voice and I am half tone deaf (because I can't match notes to their names, like A/B/C/etc), but I really like singing. I can sing for hours straight and still feel like singing afterwards. I usually can't stand awkward situations, but in a karaoke place, as long as everyone likes singing (important caveat here), it should never be awkward!

10. I am a direction idiot.
I can never remember directions to places and I have trouble reading the map. I need a GPS installed in my brain. Like, seriously.

11. I love looking at stars.
Stars are always there at night, but most of the time we can't see them, either because of the lights or fog. That's why I feel lucky when I look up and happen to see a starry night, not the mention the fact that it's just really pretty :).

12. I love Jay Chou.
I love Jay Chou....'s music (laugh). I still remember how years ago when my brother borrowed his 七里香 album from a friend I took one look at the cover and wondered out loud how such an ugly person could become so famous, but then he started playing the album and I was totally blown away. I love his music, whether it's the 中国风, the ballads, the rock/rap songs, the happy-go-lucky pop songs or the quirky I-don't-even-know-what-they-are songs. A lot people say that he never changes, and that his songs sound the same, but I beg to differ. Yes, his music has a certain "Jay" feeling to it, like even before you know it's his song you'd get an inkling that it was, but there isn't one single thing that defines Jay's music, for it's really quite diverse. Uhm, okay, I didn't mean to rant. But anyway, yeah, I love Jay Chou's music, and so, I love him. He can do whatever he wants, as long as he keeps making good music. I can go on and on, but yeah, the bottom line is, I love Jay :).

13. I really don't like the cold wind blowing at night.
It always makes me go all emo.

14. I hardly ever remember my dreams.
Moments before being fully awake I may think, "I had a good/bad dream," but minutes after I'd completely forget what the dream was about. Wonder if that's a good or a bad thing.

15. I like drinking.
THERE, I said it.

張芸京 - 我沒有瘋

我們怎麼開始的 結束的
怎麼結束的 卻開始了
記得不記得 現在都忘了
又開始了早晨
我們怎麼分開的 分開了
怎麼相遇的 又愛著的
認得不認得 你應該認得
都是你給的

我沒有瘋 我只是很難過
我沒有瘋 我只是很脆弱
就算再痛 我也會讓我們自由
這才是我 一個坦白的我
時間走過 我只是還難過
我不想留 這傷口還在痛
我沒有瘋 是當初忘記了喊痛
怎麼不懂 我只是沒有說
都沒有說

我們怎麼分開的 分開了
怎麼相遇的 又愛著的
認得不認得 你應該認得
都是你給的

我沒有瘋 我只是很難過
我沒有瘋 我只是很脆弱
就算再痛 我也會讓我們自由
這才是我 一個坦白的我
時間走過 我只是還難過
我不想留 這傷口還在痛
我沒有瘋 是當初忘記了喊痛
怎麼不懂 我只是沒有說 都沒有說
我沒有瘋 我只是很難過
我沒有瘋 我只是很脆弱
就算再痛 我也會讓我們自由
這才是我 一個坦白的我
時間走過 我只是還難過
我不想留 這傷口還在痛
我沒有瘋 是當初忘記了喊痛
怎麼不懂 我只是沒有說
都沒有說 都沒有說

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Favourite song of the moment!

I think a lot of times we don't say how we really feel; we just keep it all inside until one day it all it all spills out and we find ourselves in a mess that we can't get out of. Maybe because a lot of times there isn't any reason why we feel the way we do, and there's nothing that even the closest friends can do or say to help us. Maybe we think we just need time to get over ourselves, to stop feeling things, and one day things will just be better.

还是被发现了。

From her reaction, you'd think that I had committed a crime or started taking drugs, instead of donating my blood. I know that the main reason she's angry is because I did not discuss it with her, or to be more precise, ask her permission first. However, the reason why she never approves of it is that she thinks that I might get some disease from donating my blood, which is totally irrational, and even though I had previously tried explaining to her that all the instruments used are sterile and the body produces blood naturally so there wouldn't be any harm inflicted, she just wouldn't listen. So I chose to do it behind her back, because if I tell her she wouldn't let me and because I really wanted to do it.

I'm quite a stubborn person. I don't change my behaviour in most circumstances, even if I know I am supposed to or can behave differently. For example, even though my dad gets angry when my brother and I sleep late, I don't sleep any earlier when he comes to Singapore just because he's around. Sometimes when my mum says things like the reason why I tend to spend money on useless things is because I did not earn that money myself, I disagree because all money is just money to me, and I spend them the same way, frugally or wastefully, regardless of where that money came from.

Similarly, I will not change my beliefs and not do what I want to do just because she disapproves of it. I want to do it, not because I want to do good or be a hero or what not, but simply because I have extra blood to give. I have blood to give and there are people who need it.

This is all really bad timing, I know, since she's leaving in two days and I really could have waited until she leaves to do it. However, the blood donation drive in school was to last till last week, and since I already put it off since August, I felt that if I continued putting it off I'd never do it eventually. I guess the only thing I should have done differently was to hide my bruise from her. I really don't like to hide things, though, and I thought that if I behaved unnaturally she'd notice. And I'm really bad at lying to my parents.

Still, I don't think I did wrong.

Beautiful in White

I'm usually skeptical about love songs with fairytale-filled lyrics, but this song is just so beautiful. I think Shane's voice is the thing that differentiates this song from other love songs; he sounds so sincere, like he's just singing what he feels instead of trying to string together pretty-sounding words.

It's so beautiful I could cry.

京犬煜。

I really, really like 京犬 ^____^. Think I must have watched the few videos of their interactions a hundred times since last year XD.

The two major pairings for 張芸京 are:

1. 京犬 (張芸京/敖犬)

Their interactions started when 敖犬 was featured in 阿京's MV for 義氣 in 2010. 敖犬 once mentioned that he likes girls with character, bringing up 阿京 as an example but said that she's too similar to himself and would prefer someone who is "比较温柔".

2. 京煜 (張芸京/小煜)

Both of them are "rockers," and they have performed together in outdoor performances with live bands. 小煜 has mentioned that he likes girls with short hair, wrote a song for 阿京 (but it wasn't chosen and so he ended up singing it himself), and is generally nice towards her.

I like both pairings, actually. 阿京 is just really comfortable around guys (and girls) so basically all of her pairings are adorable.

From the videos that I've seen (especially this one), I think 小煜 likes 阿京, but she likes 敖犬. 敖犬, on the other hand, likes to tease 阿京, but treats her more like a 兄弟. 京煜 has more fans, I think, because they went out to eat once in late 2009 and 小煜 paid and since then they have been in the 暧昧 stage, "flirting" openly on Weibo and stuff. 京犬's interactions are more playful in comparison.

I never really put any thought into it, but from my preference between these two pairings, it can be inferred that I value loving more than being loved, i.e. I would rather 阿京 to be with the person she likes rather than the one who likes her. That's the main difference between these two pairings, in my opinion, since I don't really follow Lollipop F other than when the group appears together with 阿京 and so I don't like 敖犬 more than 小煜 or vice versa.

But anyway. I really hope 京犬 will get together someday ^^. Lollipop F and 阿京 are in the same company (with 小猪 too!) so they attend shows and award ceremonies together sometimes, but there are hardly enough 京犬 moments T^T. I need new 京犬 moments!