还是被发现了。

From her reaction, you'd think that I had committed a crime or started taking drugs, instead of donating my blood. I know that the main reason she's angry is because I did not discuss it with her, or to be more precise, ask her permission first. However, the reason why she never approves of it is that she thinks that I might get some disease from donating my blood, which is totally irrational, and even though I had previously tried explaining to her that all the instruments used are sterile and the body produces blood naturally so there wouldn't be any harm inflicted, she just wouldn't listen. So I chose to do it behind her back, because if I tell her she wouldn't let me and because I really wanted to do it.

I'm quite a stubborn person. I don't change my behaviour in most circumstances, even if I know I am supposed to or can behave differently. For example, even though my dad gets angry when my brother and I sleep late, I don't sleep any earlier when he comes to Singapore just because he's around. Sometimes when my mum says things like the reason why I tend to spend money on useless things is because I did not earn that money myself, I disagree because all money is just money to me, and I spend them the same way, frugally or wastefully, regardless of where that money came from.

Similarly, I will not change my beliefs and not do what I want to do just because she disapproves of it. I want to do it, not because I want to do good or be a hero or what not, but simply because I have extra blood to give. I have blood to give and there are people who need it.

This is all really bad timing, I know, since she's leaving in two days and I really could have waited until she leaves to do it. However, the blood donation drive in school was to last till last week, and since I already put it off since August, I felt that if I continued putting it off I'd never do it eventually. I guess the only thing I should have done differently was to hide my bruise from her. I really don't like to hide things, though, and I thought that if I behaved unnaturally she'd notice. And I'm really bad at lying to my parents.

Still, I don't think I did wrong.

Beautiful in White

I'm usually skeptical about love songs with fairytale-filled lyrics, but this song is just so beautiful. I think Shane's voice is the thing that differentiates this song from other love songs; he sounds so sincere, like he's just singing what he feels instead of trying to string together pretty-sounding words.

It's so beautiful I could cry.

京犬煜。

I really, really like 京犬 ^____^. Think I must have watched the few videos of their interactions a hundred times since last year XD.

The two major pairings for 張芸京 are:

1. 京犬 (張芸京/敖犬)

Their interactions started when 敖犬 was featured in 阿京's MV for 義氣 in 2010. 敖犬 once mentioned that he likes girls with character, bringing up 阿京 as an example but said that she's too similar to himself and would prefer someone who is "比较温柔".

2. 京煜 (張芸京/小煜)

Both of them are "rockers," and they have performed together in outdoor performances with live bands. 小煜 has mentioned that he likes girls with short hair, wrote a song for 阿京 (but it wasn't chosen and so he ended up singing it himself), and is generally nice towards her.

I like both pairings, actually. 阿京 is just really comfortable around guys (and girls) so basically all of her pairings are adorable.

From the videos that I've seen (especially this one), I think 小煜 likes 阿京, but she likes 敖犬. 敖犬, on the other hand, likes to tease 阿京, but treats her more like a 兄弟. 京煜 has more fans, I think, because they went out to eat once in late 2009 and 小煜 paid and since then they have been in the 暧昧 stage, "flirting" openly on Weibo and stuff. 京犬's interactions are more playful in comparison.

I never really put any thought into it, but from my preference between these two pairings, it can be inferred that I value loving more than being loved, i.e. I would rather 阿京 to be with the person she likes rather than the one who likes her. That's the main difference between these two pairings, in my opinion, since I don't really follow Lollipop F other than when the group appears together with 阿京 and so I don't like 敖犬 more than 小煜 or vice versa.

But anyway. I really hope 京犬 will get together someday ^^. Lollipop F and 阿京 are in the same company (with 小猪 too!) so they attend shows and award ceremonies together sometimes, but there are hardly enough 京犬 moments T^T. I need new 京犬 moments!